The Reproach of Matilda

She’s there every morning, glaring down at me, when I open my eyes.

“If you’re going nowhere, neither is that extra chin”, she seems to say. “I have limits, you know. If we’re to ever get any closer, you should be out there, not hitting the snooze button repeatedly!”

She’s right, of course, my ideal dress size. I breached her boundaries a long time ago and won’t be fitting back in any time soon, unless I get out there and move. Every single day.

“And cut out the champagne while you’re at it, lardarse.”

By my calculations, transforming Matilda’s reproach into rapprochement is about 720 km away.

Ho hum.

The Matilda Dress

The Matilda Dress



Great Cinematic Moments

This is one of my all-time favourites.

I took ballet, modern and tap-dancing lessons from the age of 3 and aspired to dance like Cyd, but after a friend adapted the lyrics of ‘She’s a Long-legged Woman Dressed in Black’ to “she’s a short-legged woman” to describe me…well, you can guess the rest.

Sometimes friends have to be cruel to be kind.